In my lifetime, I have had a couple rare mystical moments when I suddenly fully understood what to expect. I remember knowing with perfect clarity that it was time to go to college two years after high school, and that I would finish. And then I did.
The first major time I knew something that seemed unlikely was when my father died. The doctors told us it would be fifteen minutes to two hours for his unplugged life to expire. But I had a knowing that he would in fact remain alive on his own for another day and a half. I left despite family members’ refusal to leave to go watch the July 4th fireworks and then returned the next day to be present for a long wait. That night he finally died, and while it was painful, it was a comfort to have known all along that it would take so long.
That was seven years ago. I have waited for more knowings. None have surfaced. Well, nothing as significant as that one.
Then something wonderful occurred. My partner and I had just recently made a contingent offer on a log home on a Montana mountain. We live in Minnesota. However, we had to sell our own home back in Minnesota if this offer was going to stick. We were seriously nervous about that which we had such little control. This was a major life decision, and we could only do so much to make it happen. We knew this house on the mountain was exactly what we wanted. I had a vague notion that it would all be fine, and I even felt distantly that an offer would come in by the end of the weekend. But I was not absolutely sure. Not like with my dad. These things require so much faith in one’s own intuition. That is not always easy.
It was already Sunday morning and we were driving back to our unsold home. I happened to have just had surgery on my tailbone. This healing process required me to lay across the back seat for much of the drive – off my backside, so I could get relief from the pain. I was lying back there, unable to watch the road, straining to hear my partner any time he spoke, and feeling somewhat isolated but also resolved to rest.
I was thinking about the timeline of events, the lack of knowing, the stress and strain of waiting for a buyer. I was thinking of how the divine powers of the universe were obviously at play.
Suddenly, I realized I could simply ask. I didn’t have any tarot cards, nor runes to cast, and I never used such tools for future prediction anyway. So I did what came naturally and pulled the thick comforter over my head; this caused my vision to be enveloped in black. It put me in a state of focus and total privacy. The digital audible story which had been relentlessly droning faded into the background like white noise. The vehicle was vibrating smoothly over the North Dakota highway, and I asked.
“When will the offer come?”
I immediately felt that it would be that very evening. I could see us at home in the titillating vibration of progress in this circumstance. In the vision, I was in our kitchen and it was dark. Dark meant after sunset.
At first, I thought, “Wait. Is that just hopeful thinking?” And then I told myself, “No. You don’t even need it to be tonight. You are wide open. You were prepared for it to be much longer, maybe weeks, or months! You asked, and this was the answer. It is tonight.”
I was pleased. I believed it too. But I said nothing. I believed it, but I did not believe my belief would be believed. And so I said nothing more. Four hours later, at 3pm, we received a call sharing that an offer had been made about $25,000 below our asking price. We spent the rest of our drive discussing it. We spent the rest of our evening determining other possibly interested buyers, and a counter offer. The next morning we had come to an agreed-upon price with our buyer.
It never occurred to me in all these years to just ask, and then to listen, and most importantly, to believe the answer.