April 2. Water 🜄: Emotions
Emotional Maturity
I have made a lot of mistakes because I had been so emotionally immature. I spent many years avoiding my feelings, with addictions and denial, bravado, and contempt. I think I was emotionally 30 years old when I hit a physical 50. I sought a therapist to guide me, and I was very selective and patient this time. I finally settled on my fourth choice of therapists for the next two years. Before that, I was this physical adult walking the earth, a professional woman, and relatively intelligent, but with the emotions of a fourteen-year-old girl.
Related Expertise
Emotional immaturity can be the result of insecure attachments during early life experiences, trauma, untreated addiction or mental health problems, and/or lack of deeper introspection or work on oneself. It can manifest as self-centeredness, narcissism, and poor management of conflict (Psychology Today 2021).
Inspired Action
Identifying your emotions is the first step toward knowing yourself as a curious observer and an insightful, mature adult. Each evening, whenever possible, take an inventory of your emotional day. Consider what it was that generated feelings and identify those feelings. The four base emotions are fear, sadness, anger, and joy. It is likely you felt each of these to some degree today.
We need to learn how to process our feelings. This often requires another human to listen and validate you and to help you unpack the circumstances. This can also be done in smaller ways and privately with a journal. It is beneficial as well to speak with your higher power.
Do not be ashamed of your emotional world. Accept it. Declare it! Gently admit that these emotions are the result of something real. Even if that reality has become distorted. Talking about it will right-size it. Your emotions will pass when you stop berating yourself for being an emotional human.
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