April 10. Water đźś„: Emotions
Parental Worries
I have three adult sons. Each has amazing resilience and intelligence. That does not stop me from worrying. Disorganization, addiction, isolation – these are issues that plague my children despite any successes they have. If I don’t find a way to curb my worries, I become a madwoman, driven by my attempts to control and force them into my will. I lose sleep, unable to focus on my own needs, and can inevitably push them away.
Parents are often confused about their proper, effective role and a potential codependency. We do not want to abandon our children at any age, but then we take our influence too far. We cannot be at peace unless our children are following our preferred script. We are terrified we will lose them.
Related Expertise
“Codependent relationships happen when a person is overly reliant on another to validate their thoughts, emotions, and identity. If continued unchecked, a codependent parent can influence their adult child’s ability to think for themselves and implement healthy communication skills in their grown-up relationships” (Whitworth, 2023).
Inspired Action
Do your children (or someone you have parented) understand that you love them? Do they know undoubtedly that you are available for advice and comfort? If the answer is yes, then you are done here. Let them come to you if and when they choose. The rest is simply about enjoying their company and expressing your faith in them. When you want to get in there and control and criticize, then remind yourself, “They know they are loved. They know how to contact me.” Then get on with your day and focus on your own life.
